There's nothing left here to pretend.

I remember you.

2007-06-13T01:39:00.000-07:00

It's been so long.
I'm coming back.
I'm back.
You don't need to worry no longer.
Love.

When I go forwards you go backwards and somewhere we will meet.

2007-03-29T12:57:00.000-07:00

It's been forever old buddy, eh?
I finally got my computer back.
I'm sure all my non-existant readers are hella excited!
Not much has happened to me since last post.
Except I have conjunctivitis again and now I also got buergers disease,
Which I'm really freaked out about.
But what am I not freaked out about?
Today after seeing Brooke, I went to Cap Mall to see my mum, but ended up in tears of pain
from walking.
Yes, walking.
Everything hurts so much.
I saw my mum and she was like what the fuck cause I was just sitting in the food court crying.
And then I went home, and I'm here.

I really don't feel myself lately though.
Even when I look in the mirror, I'm like the fuck?
I tried to make myself look more....Christine with my piercings.
But it didn't work.
Now I'm thinking of dyeing my hair, but I don't know.
I'm just fucking fed up of this shit.
I should know who I am.
And no one better give me that "You're a teenager, it's time to figure out who are are" shit.
And if you do.
I might just fucking kill you.
Thanks.

He came to meet me.

2007-03-07T21:26:00.000-08:00

My computer died.
That is my exuse for the whole no posting thing.
Basically I have a job and don't do anything else but work, exersize, and sleep.
I'm getting my septum pierced on Friday, and am paying for my friend Aaliya to get her sternum pierced.
I'm buying a bong a new pipe soon, don't know when that's really coming.
I'm really not in the typing mood,
I can't really think.
Now I just feel stupid.
Thanks a lot, Blog Spot.

Forget the love that you once knew.

2007-02-25T20:04:00.000-08:00

I'm so sick of this shit.
That's all I can really say.
I have a job, it occupies all my time.
I thought it would take my mind off everything but it really, really doesn't.
Fuck man, I've been crying at work.
This needs to stop.
It's hurting me really bad.
It's affecting my fucking life.
I've lost all motivation,
I'm even questioning giving up vegetarianism which was what I have ALWAYS stood up for, for what?
Four, five years?
Yeah.
skldfjdfhsjds.
I need someone.
Not juuuust anyone though.
We all know what I'm talking about.
=(

I was ashamed by it's honesty.

2007-02-22T02:17:00.000-08:00

I think the dark brings out insanity.
I was reading my last post like crying like WTF IS WRONG WITH ME.
And now I just feel it all again.
Except now it's different.
I'm just...ugh.
I had this before.
I just got a memory of when I was explaining this to Shawn.
Well anyways, I just see people living.
Everyday lives.
Just walking about.
But now it's like I can feel each person's feelings.
And it's all just jumbled up in my heart and my thoughts that I don't know what I'm thinking.
Like when you hear people saying that existance has stopped for them and they feel nothing, it's like that except I think nothing for myself anymore.
As if there was an empty room that is really my head.
And someone else just took it.
And this is all them.
Not me.
I'm not....me.
Anymore.

God knows you already sold your mind.

2007-02-20T03:24:00.000-08:00

I swear I'm going insane.
All I can see is death.
I can't explain it right now,
Because I need to sleep.
Well, fuck.
Now it's too late.
Alright.
I'm just copying and pasting from my nexopia blog, because it kills to type.
As if my fucking fingers are actually burning.
Actual pain is ripping through me right now.
Here we go...
"Wherever I look I see death.
On my bed there is a pillow, there is a girl suffocating herself.
There is a little boy hanging himself outside my window on a tree.
There is a young woman drowning in my bathtub.
This is killing me.
Fuck. "
Lovely, isn't it?
Well it's not.
You fucking try sitting in your computer chair when there are people killing themselves right before your eyes and you can't do shit about it!
Yeah, that's right.
You couldn't handle it.
I don't know how I am.
Whatever.

Also, lately I've been seeing myself as other people.
When I look in the mirror, yes I see myself.
But then I see like, sub-selves.
There are some that I know quite well.
Others are distant and seem too dangerous to try and comprehend why they're me.
My two favorite people are the 42 year old heroin addict who wear cheesey sequin tops and terrible leggings from Salvation Army, and the mother of two who chain smokes and secretly desires death, when really lives the high life.
These women are very very interesting and have lots to say.
I mean, I don't like when they're around.
I'm fucking scared to shit about this all,
But they're the best ones.

Anyways, I have to go and try to sleep now.
I don't know how the fuck that's going to work.
I mean if I'm seeing ghosts with the lights on, I'm going to just shit myself when I turn these lights off.
Fuck.
I think I'm sleeping with the lights on!!

My lungs are out of air, yours are holding smoke.

2007-02-19T01:43:00.000-08:00

Today has been just dreadful.
I don't know why I even bothered staying awake.
I would've easily just slept through it, like I planned.
But no, instead I had to go through my dad complaining about my sleeping habits, stupid fucks from Victoria thinking I give a flying fuck whether they're dead or alive, freaking out thinking if I should eat or not(which I did, and now I'm in terrible pain), and just dealing with another pointless day of thinking of all these things I wish I didn't need to think of.
It's been a week, and I'm still just sitting here.
The same place as I always will sit.
I'm so fucking sick of this shit.

Oh, but I'm glad that I'll be out of Vancouver a bunch soon.
It seems March is going to like me.
Oh, and this week because I'm going to Kamloops.
And in a couple weeks I'm going to Whistler with Rachel and hopefully Melissa.
But March 12th is Christina Aguilera with Rachel.
And March 17th-20th is Gabriola Island with Aaliya.
And obviously I'll be going to Kamloops in between all those times.

Soon I'm going to talk to my cousins about going to Chicago this summer.
I need to go.
Seriously.
I need to leave here for more than a few days.
I NEED THIS.
=(
Hopefully they say yes!

Anyway, I need to wake up in the morning for once, so I better go.
I'm so not tired though.
Maybe I won't.
Fuck.
Fucking confusion all the time man.
I swear.
...
Peace.

I feel so funny, I feel so sad.

2007-02-18T01:30:00.000-08:00

I just want this to end.
I've given up for the last time.
There's just this feeling that I can't explain.
You know when you're doing a really important test and there's a question that you knew would be on it so you practised it over and over again, but you still couldn't even guess what the answer could be?
That's how I feel with my life right now.
Can I please stop being pathetic now?
I just want to sleep.
And sleep.
Forever.

Truth is a bully you only pretend to like.

2007-02-17T04:26:00.000-08:00

Today I woke up at 3pm to my mother, at home.
Which was very surprising.
I gave her this card that said "You make me smile".
It was from Starbucks, but it's the words that counted in this situation.
Anyways, I got ready to go meet my dad downtown.
I missed my first bus, and the bus I caught afterwards was slow as fuck.
I hate asshole bus drivers, whatever.
Too lazy to explain this one.
So I was late meeting my dad, and it was rush hour so he was extremely pissed off.
We finally got on Robson and we bought the boots that I HAD to have!
I was so excited, but then my dad was complaining about how ugly they are etc.
Which made me sad.
Cause I like when my parents like stuff I like.
We took the Lion's Gate bridge home so I decided to go to the ayc, but my dad offered to drive me to Christina's, which he later regretted and made ME feel bad for.
Which bothers me.
Why do I let so many people make myself feel like shit when I really shouldn't have to?
I need an answer!
Anyhow, I got to Christina's house and we sat around being cool for a while, and went down to the center.
Which was really boring.
Plus, the evil boy was there and I got upset and cried in the bathroom.
Later, Christina left cause she had to be home at a certain time and I hung out with Karina.
We watched Step Up and I finally got backwards somersaults down!
Go me.
Plus I was trying to creep people out by doing over-the-toes, which was great.
It looks so painful, apparently.
Hah.
When the center closed, me and Karina went out the back door and some bitch yelled something at me. I mean, seriously, fuck off. Just because my jackass ex-boyfriend is an immature bitch doesn't mean you gotta jump right along too.
But that didn't stop me from getting upset AGAIN and crying AGAIN.
I mean, it obviously wasn't her, I could care less about that.
I seriously could just be paranoid. She might've not even be yelling at me.
Whatever.
Paranoia sucks.
But just, fuck.
I shouldn't STILL care about this.
I'm fucking known for being this great strong person who doesn't let people make me feel this way.
Two fucking situations like this, holy fuck.
I'm getting weaker by the day.
Why is suicide selfish?
Why can't suicide like, not matter.
I would love to fucking take a gun and bang.
UGHUDSFHKJg.
This is ghey.
Suicide is ghey too.
STAY HAPPY PEEPZ.
Wow, I get off topic a lot.
SO Karina came over and we made pudding, which worked out terribly.
It exploded in my microwave TWICE.
You'd think we would've learned our lesson after the first time, right?
WRONG.
Hahaha, it was the greatest thing ever.
I love that girl, and I love making pudding with her.
When we were cleaning up we figured out the best feeling in the world.
PUDDING ON WAX PAPER.
Truuuuust us!
Ok ok ok, so Karina was getting sleepy so I decided that we would make spaghetti to wake her up, cause you can't fall asleep while eating my magical spaghetti.
When we were waiting for it to cook Karina took my mum's ear muffs and gloves and a blanket and slept, on my fucking kitchen table!!!
I mean, god girl.
WAKE UP.
Oh, and by the way, she's sleeping right now in muh bed.
Psh.
Well, this took more time than I wanted it to.
And it probably showed no emotion, which sucks.
Which basically means this was pointless.
Whatever, people can read my lameness and how I cry everywhere, even on the bus(oh yeah I forgot to mention that one) and just, bleh.
Payce niggz.

You see fear is only holding us back

2007-02-15T17:07:00.000-08:00

Trying to forget is really hard when everything I see is a reminder.
Let's see.
All my posters and just everything on my wall reminds me of Sarah.
Listening to Nirvana reminds me of sitting in my room with her for hours just listening to them.
Nirvana-music reminds me of our stupidity.
Laying in my bed reminds me of....boy.
Eating sushi does too.
And the ayc.
And seriously like, everything.
Hah, a while ago I found my MSI shirt.
And thought of Carolena.
And our doing drugs at 2pm and walking around for hours.

Seriously, I just need to leave this all.
But how?!

What have we been doing all this time?

2007-02-14T21:59:00.000-08:00

I got home from a great night with Rachel.
I thought watching a 'romantic comedy' would make me feel worse.
But I forgot about everything that I'm not loving about life right now.
Which was great.
But then I went home and I had a present,
And I started shaking, freaking out because I didn't know who it was from.
And it was from my lovely Allie, who I miss SO much.
So basicly we're hanging out March ninth, kay, thanks?
Anyways, I started crying.
And then my mum gave me a heart ring.
And I cried some more.
And then I thought about that certain someone.
And now I'm just bawling and shaking and he ruins everything.
=(

Existence is fake.

2007-02-14T05:14:00.001-08:00

So it's 5:05am and Shawn finally signed on msn.
I'm totally not as bored now.
My mum came in like fifteen minutes ago complaining that I'm ruining my life with my terrible sleeping habits.
She's probably right.
I feel like crap now.
Greeeaaat.
Whatever.
When do I not?

Well, I spent my night doing useless surveys as always.
Oh, and I decided I'm buying like EVERYTHING on http://helplessromantic.bigcartel.com/
How productive of me.

Today I'm going to do the papers, take a shower, and head down to the ayc.
Obviously I'm going to go to Starbucks first.
I'm going to fucking need it.
Then I'm meeting Rachel and facing the lameness.
Dren will be there though.
=D just a lil bit.
Anyways, then I'm going to go see Music and Lyrics with Rachel and like cry foreverrr because I'm fucking lame and emo and it's Valentine's day.
And then I'm going to go home and talk to Shawn about how everything is so lame right now.
Pretty darn exciting, if I do say so myself.

Wow, I really can't write good blog entries half-asleep.
I hope no one reads this.
And if anyone does...
Please don't judge me by this horrible post!
=( !

This just can't be summer love, you'll see.

2007-02-13T23:29:00.000-08:00

So I thought I wasn't going to post these surveys on this blog because it takes up a lot of space that I don't know...just doesn't look too great. But now I realized that once in a while, maybe once a week, I should, because it shows your emotions, how you feel, and more about you. SO here ya go, my first one!

(1) Your gender: Female.
(2) Straight/gay/bi?: Bi-sexual.
(3) Single?: Yes.
(4) Want to be?: I don't care really.
(5) Your birth day: June ninth.
(6) Age you act: It varies.
(7) Age you wish you were: Seventeen. I can have my N!
(8) Your height: 5'2.
(9) The color of your eyes: Blueish.
(10) Happy with it?: Sure.
(11) The color of your hair: A mixture of blonde, brown, red, and pink.
(12) Happy with it?: Not really. Whatever.
(13) Left/right/ambidextrous?: I'm right handed.
(14) Your living arrangement?: I live with my parents.
(27) Your family: Well, I'm not going to list my WHOLE family.
(29) What's your job: I don't have a job.
(30) Piercings?: Only my lip.
(31) Tattoos?: None.
(32) Obsessions?: Hm, Orgies with Christina Aguilera, PCD, Gwen Stefani, Wentworth Miller, Channing Tatum, and obviously RACHEL.
(35) Do you speak another language? Nope.
(36) Have a favorite quote?: "Truth is a bully you only pretend to like."
(37) Do you have a webpage?: No, just my blogspot.

DEEP THOUGHTS about life and you in it
(38) Do you live in the moment?: It depends on the situation?
(39) Do you consider yourself tolerant of others?: No.
(40) Do you have any secrets?: Not really, I'm pretty open.
(41) Do you hate yourself?: Hate is a strong word man.
(42) Do you like your handwriting?: NO. Can I please steal Sam's?
(43) Do you have any bad habits?: Many.
(44) What is the compliment you get most from people?: I don't.
(45) If a movie was made about your life, what would it be called?: CRANKSTURRZ.
(46) What's your biggest fear?: Life.
(47) Can you sing: Not well, but I do anyways.
(48) Do you ever pretend to be someone else just to look cool?: No, that's stupid.
(49) Are you a loner?: Not really. I am at three in the morning though.
(51) If you were another person, would you be friends with you?: Depends on what type of person I was.
(52) Are you a daredevil?: Sometimes.
(53) Is there anything you fear or hate about yourself?: I fear of my own vulnerability. I also hate a lot about myself. But I'm too lazy to get into it.
(54) Are you passive or aggressive?: I am passive-aggressive.
(55) Have you got a ?: A what? SPIT IT OUUUT.
(56) What is your greatest strength and weakness? Strength, I'm not afraid to speak my mind. Weakness, Boys!
(57) If you could change one thing about yourself?: I'd have a tought time to choose.
(58) There are three wells, love, beauty and creativity, which one do you choose?: Beauty.
(59) How do you vent?: Talk to Shawn usually. And throw things, throwing stuff is great.
(60) Do you think you are emotionally strong?: I can be.
(61) Is there anything you regret doing/not doing in life?: Yes, but I try not to think of it.
(62) Do you think life has been good so far?: Uhm, meh?
(63) What is the most important lesson you've learned from life?: Don't trust anyone.
(64) What do you like the most about your body?: Nothing, srsly.
(65) And least?: My stomach!
(66) Do you think you are good looking?: No. Fuck that.
(67) Are you confident?: I act the part.
(68) What is the fictional character you're most like?: THE GIRL FROM CRANK, DUH. Plus, her name IS Kristina. Yeeeeyuh!
69) Do people know how you feel?: Probably. Apparently EVERYONE reads my nexopia blogs. Dope.
(70) Are you perceived wrongly?: All the time.

DO YOU...
(71) Smoke?: I havn't for THREE days!!
(72) Do drugs?: I havn't for two + months.
(73) Read the newspaper?: Yes.
(74) Pray?: No. I should though!
(75) Go to church? No.
(76) Talk to strangers who IM you?: No.
(77) Sleep with stuffed animals?: I wish.
(78) Take walks in the rain?: No.
(79) Talk to people even though you hate them?: No.
(80) Drive?: Nope, not old enough.
(81) Like to drive fast?: ...*sigh*

HAVE YOU EVER...
(82) Liked your voice?: Yes, I remember this one minute of my whole entire life where I FOR ONCE liked my voice, but I will never again. <_<
(83) Hurt yourself?: Yes.
(84) Been out of the country?: Yes.
(85) Eaten something that made other people sick?: Maybe?
(86) Burped?: Yes.
(87) Been unfaithful?: Yes.
(88) Been in love?: No.
(89) Done drugs?: Yes.
(90) Gone skinny dipping?: No.
(92) Had a surgery?: Yes.
(93) Ran away from home?: Yes, ha.
(94) Played strip poker: No.
(95) Gotten beaten up?: Not exactly.
(97) Been picked on?: Yes.
(98) Been on stage?: Yes.
(99) Been so drunk that you know you're supposed to go out on a date with someone, but you can't remember with who or when and that you faint when you look at yourself in the mirror in the morning, not to mention your breath?: ...I hate this question. Why is it in every survey?!
(100) Slept outdoors?: Yes.
(101) Thought about suicide?: I used to a lot. Ghey. I think it's the most selfish thing EVER.
(102) Pulled an all-nighter?: Yes.
(103) If yes, what is your record?: About three weeks. I got really sick from it and had to take medication after that. Fun fun fun.
(105) Talked on the phone all night?: Yee. =(
(106) Slept together with the opposite sex without actually having sex?: Yes. OMGZ. =O
(107) Slept all day?: All the time.
(108) Killed someone?: Obviously.
(109) Made out with a stranger?: Yes.
(110) Had sex with a stranger?: No.
(111) Thought you're going crazy?: Oh yes.
(112) Kissed the same sex?: Yes.
(113) Done anything sexual with the same sex?: Yes.
(114) Been betrayed?: Yes!
(115) Had a dream that came true?: Probably.
(116) Broken the law?: Yes.
(117) Met a famous person?: Yes.
(118) Have you ever killed an animal by accident?: Yes. =(
(146) Stolen anything?: Yes.
(147) Been on radio/TV.?: Yes/Yes.
(148) Been in a mosh-pit?: Yes.
(149) Had a nervous breakdown?: Yes. Oh god, bad times.
(150) Considered religious vocation?: Er, no?
(151) Been criticized about your sexual performance?: No, that would suck.
(152) Bungee jumped?: Yes!
(153) Had a dream that kept coming back?: Yee. Not lovin' it.

CLOTHES and other fashion
(154) Shoe brand?: Whatever.
(155) Brand of clothing?: Anything from Vivid/Aritzia, thanks.
(156) Cologne/perfume?: Happy!
(157) What are you normally wearing to school/work?: I don't go to either, awesome.
(159) Wear hats?: Sometimes. I did today.
(161) Wear make-up?: Yes.
(162) Favorite place to shop?: Vivid and Aritzia.
(163) Favorite article of clothing?: My two dresses and my skirt WHICH I HAVN'T WORN YET!
(164) Are you trendy?: Nah.
(165) Would you rather wear a uniform to school?: I wear pjs to the computer. =) HAH.

BELIEFS
(166) Believe in life on other planets?: Maybe.
(167) Miracles?: I am a miracle.
(168) Astrology?: Nah, but it's fun.
(169) Magic?: I am magic.
(170) God?: I am god.
(171) Satan?: I am satan.
(172) Santa?: I am Santa.
(173) Ghosts?: Oh god, I am terrified of them. I'm totally not a ghost. =(!
(174) Luck?: I am luck.
(175) Love at first sight?: I am love at first sight.
(176) Yin and Yang?: I am ying AND yang.
(177) Witches?: I am a witch.
(178) Easter bunny?: I am the easter bunny.
(179) Believe it's possible to remain faithful forever?: Fuck that.
(180) Believe there's a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow?: No, but there IS a pot of pot! I totally found it one day.
(181) Do you wish on stars?: I am a wish, and I am THE star. Fuck it.

LOVE, and all that
(182) Did you get frightened or uncomfortable seeing that as a section title?: Nah. My heart hurts now though, kind of.
(183) Do you remember your first love?: ...<_<
(184) Still love him/her?: <_<
(185) Do you consider love a mistake?: <_<
(186) What do you find romantic?: I find me romantic. Aka, fuck off, I won't answer this.
(187) Turn-on?: Are you TRYING to make me cry?
(188) Turn-off?: My ex-boyfriends. Like, all of them. Seriously!
(189) Do you base your judgment on looks alone: No. Obviously not. HAHAHA. Burnnn.
(200) If someone you had no interest in dating expressed interest in dating you, how would you feel?: Well, if they were hot I'd be happy? Hah. I don't know. I can't answer questions like this.
(201) Do you prefer knowing someone before dating them or going "blind"?: I like knowing them first, but not knowing EVERYTHING about them, cause that would be boring, ya know?
(202) Have you ever wished it was more "socially acceptable" for a girl to ask a guy out?: No, I don't care.
(203) Have you ever been romantically attracted to someone physically unattractive?: Yes.
(204) Do you think the opposite sex finds you good looking?: No.
(205) What is best about the opposite sex?: How they can be such sweethearts!
(206) What is the worst thing about the opposite sex?: Oh, so much!
(207) What's the last present someone gave you?: Fuck off.
(208) Are you in love?: No.
(209) Do you consider your significant other hot?: KJDADSHFJKDSAFHSAD.
(210) What would you do if you were walking down the street and saw some hot guy/girl standing on the sidewalk?: I'd keep walking. Fuck that shit, for all you know they could be a Rogerson type. Come to think of it, maybe I should do that. I WANT A ROGERSON. BEATT ME UP BEAT ME DOWNNNN. Man, I need to get some hobbies.

WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON...
(211) That haunted you?: jds;kfljdsklf.
(212) You wanted to kill?: Boy.
(213) That you laughed at?: Sam and her blood-ness.
(214) That laughed at you?: My parents.
(215) That turned you on?: RACHEL'S ORGY IDEA. LMFAO!!!
(216) You went shopping with?: Not sure. Me and my dad went shopping for tylonel last week?
(217) That broke your heart?: Boy.
(218) To disappoint you?: Boy.
(219) To ask you out?: <_______<
(220) To make you cry?: Oh my god.
(221) To brighten up your day?: Sam and Rachel! They're both just so great!
(222) That you thought about?: My eyes. They're really dry lately.
(223) You saw a movie with?: Rachel, DUH.
(224) You talked to on the phone?: Karina.
(225) You talked to through IM?: Sam.
(226) You saw?: My sister.
(227) You lost?: Boy.
(229) You thought was completely insane?: Like, all my friends.
(230) You wanted to be?: Myself....but better?
(231) You told off?: HAH. Boy!
(232) You trusted?: Like, no one. Ever.
(233) You turned down?: Lmfao.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU
(234) Smiled?: Earlier today.
(235) Laughed?: Earlier today.
(236) Cried?: Yesterday.
(237) Bought something?: Today.
(238) Danced?: Last night.
(239) Were sarcastic?: Like, always.
(240) hugged someone?: Yesterday.
(241) Talked to an ex?: Today, kind of.
(242) Watched your fave movie?: So long ago, sadly!
(243) Had a nightmare?: Last night!
(245) Talked on the phone?: Earlier today.
(246) Listened to the radio?: Two days ago.
(247) Watched TV?: Right now.
(248) Went out?: Earlier today to hang out with my baybay aka SAM.
(249) Helped someone?: Doubt it.
(250) Were mean?: Always.
(251) Sang?: Today. I was singing MSI!
(252) Saw a movie in a theater?: Like, two weeks ago? Epic Movie = Awesome.
(253) Said "I love you"?: Today, or maybe yesterday.
(254) Missed someone?: Now. But at the same time, I don't. I don't know. Blehh.
(255) Fought with a family member?: Awe, like, last week. Over the dumbest thing too! I feel bad.
(256) Fought with a friend?: Yesterday, kind of.
(257) Had a serious conversation?: Today.
(258) Got drunk?: Saturday.
(259) Had sex?: Never.

I won't be second to none.

2007-02-13T23:23:00.000-08:00

See a crip, kill a crip, watch your favorite color drip...BLOOD!

Love is for suckers.

2007-02-13T02:45:00.000-08:00

It's 2:45 in the fucking morning,
And there are still no signs of me getting sleepy.
I wish there was like, a survey website,
You know,
those mindless surveys that go on FOREVER.
At least I wouldn't be so bored.

But today I decided I'm going to bring a camera with me at all times.
And every day I'm going to find something astonishing,
Or something that makes ME feel better,
Alive,
Or something.
I'll figure it out.
I hate the whole photography craze but I would love to have photographs of things that make me feel better.
Plus, it might get me awake earlier than 3pm.
I guess we'll find out.

Anyways,
I'm going to go find more boring surveys somehow.
Even though I've probably done them ALL.
Damn.
=(

I almost forgot how you let me down.

2007-02-12T23:20:00.000-08:00

I woke up at five in the evening.
So now I'm really not tired.
And have nothing to do.
Which sucks.
But I went to dance and sat around/stretched the whole time.
Fun fun fun.
And me and Michelle decided to hang out on friday.
I'm pretty much hella excited about that.
Kind of sucks how me and Melissa are like, not talking though.
I really don't like her new friends/lifestyle.
It's depressing.
Especially how she won't listen.
=(

But I came back from dance and started doing this label thing for my dad's company for some extra cash.
I'm about half way done with 30 bucks, which is cool.
I have 25$ for dinner with Sam tomorrow.
We're obvss gonna be hot bbz.
WATCH OUUUT.

The worst part of my day though was another stupid fight-ish thing with Lee.
I wish one day I could have a mature boyfriend.
Even EX-boyfriend.
So I could at least know that my ex-boyfriends' aren't ALL immature dickheads.
Fucking hell man.
So ghey.
Anyways.
I'm going to go be bored some more until like two in the morning and finally go to sleep.
PAYCE.

Don't act stupid.

2007-02-11T16:59:00.000-08:00

I found it.
Postsecret.
Fuck.

She took you to the river.

2007-02-11T16:23:00.000-08:00

I wish I could find that blog that I wanna find.
It's the one with all the secrets.
I find them adorable.
If anyone ever reads this(which I doubt) and knows it,
Please tell me.
Thank you.

Give it all for heaven's sake.

2007-02-11T14:25:00.000-08:00

First blog.
Why am I doing this?
I don't know.
And neither do you.
I mean, if you do, please tell me.

So I have no love to give you.
I have no love to give anyone.
I have no money.
I have no humour.
I have no originality.
What else is there?
Oh well.

I hate a lot of things.
I like a few things.

People, Animals.
Littering, Flowers.
Rap, Jazz.
Trust, Trust.
Love, Love.
Hate, Hate.
I make no sense.
And I really need Starbucks.
Or sushi.
I will have sushi in 20 minutes though.
SUCK IT.